Monday, August 24, 2009

That Ain't Gatorade...


8.16.09 Downers Grove National Criterium Championship

After a very full season of racing, I have been witness to a veritable plethora of remarkable feats performed on the bicycle. I have watched in awe and wonder displays of endurance and power that boggle the mind. I have seen horrific crashes and spectacular victories. I've watched in amazement as grown men curse each other while risking life and limb - all for a $50 payday, the thrill of the battle, and the potential glory of the win. All the lasting memories this season has gifted, however, pale in comparison to the events that transpired one rainy afternoon in August.

My friend Gary and I had returned to Downers Grove to watch the pros vie for the national championship and wandered aimlessly around the course discussing riders and the finer points of racing, pausing briefly every few minutes to see them whip by at a frantic pace before continuing on. And then, about midway through the race, IT happened. An unnamed Jelly Belly rider rounded turn seven and brought forth from his nether regions an uncapped water bottle, tossing it casually into a nearby flowerbed. As it hit the ground and a lightly-yellow-tinted liquid splashed freely out of the bottle, Gary and I looked at each other with the same unthinkable thought racing through our minds: "No...he couldn't have...it's not possible...right?" A brief brainstorming session ensued as we searched in vain for any rational explanation to what we had just seen. Coming up empty, we finally accepted the obvious and incredible truth. For the uninitiated, some context is probably necessary to fully underscore the significance of this mid-race bottle-filling miracle. The criterium at Downers has eight turns tightly packed into a mile-long course. And it was raining, adding considerable danger to the already constant risk-taking that permeates and enlivens these events. Finally, consider that even with all the corners and rain-soaked roads these pros are flying around the course at speeds approaching 30 miles per hour (speeds that even enthusiastic wannabes like myself only dream of). Bear in mind also that the simple act of drinking from a water bottle (its intended purpose) regularly causes veering, shouting, crashing, etc. in lesser races involving mere mortals. Now imagine a rider, amidst this unthinkable context... 1. Somehow managing to unscrew the top off a bottle, then 2. Getting a full-size bottle down his skin-tight bib-shorts and 3. Urinating...most of which presumably ends up in said bottle, then 4. Removing the bottle from his shorts and disposing of it properly in a roadside garden all while 5. Maneuvering several dangerous turns in a tightly packed peloton. If I hadn't witnessed it myself, I'd say it couldn't be done.

After investigating the scene and confirming our conclusions, we walked again. Glancing back a minute later to pay homage to the Bottle one last time, there it was...in a young boy's hands. In his youthful innocence he had picked it up as a souvenir - much like the foul ball from Wrigley or the jar of dirt from the Field of Dreams. We thought about it, but in the end neither of us had the heart to tell him...

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Near Miss


Photo of me and the yellow tent I would eventually end the race in by Nikki Cyp
8.16.09 Downers Grove Criterium
Cat. 3 / 66th


As the pace kicked up on the final lap I found myself relegated to a twenty-something-ish position, and with opportunities to advance all but gone forever, I had begun accepting my fate. I would finish in the front end of the pack, perhaps even cracking into the high teens with a strong push to the line. That was the last thought I had before watching my life flash before my eyes as I narrowly avoided this crash. Two or three riders went down hard on turn five right in front of me and I had to quickly choose whether to 1) Join them on the ground; or 2) Hit the brakes and hope for the best as I sail into the yellow tent on the corner (filled with expensive bikes, wheels, etc., oh - and people too). Self-preservation rules the day as I lock up both brakes and try desperately to stay up on two skidding wheels. Rear wheel comes off the ground - okay - too much front brake. I cringe as I enter the wheel pit, knowing the odds are good that I'll kill someone or break something. Two Mavic reps jump out of my way, leaving a remarkably clear path through to the other side of the tent, where I finally come to a stop. Foot down, breathe again. Turn around, proceed back out of the tent and back onto the course. The whole episode lasts only a few seconds, but it's a lifetime in terms of the race and I'll be riding in alone - off the back. 66th wasn't my hope for the race but, all things considered, it's hard to complain. And, anyhow, it certainly makes for a better story than, "...and then I sprinted for 19th!"

Sssssssss....


(Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand four-letter words)

8.15.09 Downers Grove Criterium
Cat. 3/4 / DNF


Flatted with four laps to go. That's three flats in two weeks if you're counting.

Note to self: Get new tires.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

DNF


8.8.09 Grayslake Cycling Classic Criterium
Cat. 3 / DNF


I've never had a flat in a race. Today I had two.

Five or six guys went off the front early in the race, and as I had been sitting in the middle of the field I was going to need to make a serious effort to bridge the gap. Me and a couple other guys jumped away from the pack to get to the break and shortly thereafter found myself, all alone, in no-man's-land - that hellish place between the breakaway and the rest of the field. I had managed to get within 20 or 30 meters of the lead group when I started feeling my rear wheel fishtailing around the corners - flat. SRAM was providing neutral support so I walked back to the start and got a replacement wheel (much nicer than mine, bonus). By this point the breakaway is crushing the rest of the field so I say, "I was just off the back of the breakaway when I flatted," in hopes that I could get back in where I was and not with the main field. So he lets me jump in as the break rolls by on the next lap and I quickly (and mildly guiltily) join the breakaway. So now I'm in the breakaway and whether I belong there is probably debatable at best. This lead group of 7 or 8 guys was really moving and I just didn't have the horsepower to be much help. So here I am - holding on for dear life, trying my best to hide my exhaustion, and taking brief pulls at the front to at least maintain the appearance of legitimacy. "Six laps to go!" shouts the announcer and all I can think is how am I ever going to keep this up for six more laps?? As it turns out, I didn't have to. A lap or two later my bike starts feeling all sloppy again - front wheel flat this time. Frustration and relief washed over me in equal measure. Then, I did what I always do when I get frustrated...I started screaming obscenities and threw my bike into someone's front lawn. Okay, actually I just walked back to where my family was watching and finished the race as a spectator - disappointed but thankful for the pain to be over.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Smiler


Photo by Luke Seemann
8.1.09 Tour of Elk Grove Criterium
Cat. 3 / 23rd


Wind, rain, tight turns and narrow roads made for a treacherous course...resulting in multiple crashes. Luckily I managed to stay off the ground and out of trouble, however, I also managed to stay out of the money - which went 20 places deep. The long, narrow, and winding homestretch required that you be in a decent position coming off the final turn before it got too fast and packed to move up. Lesson learned. Returned on Sunday to see all the big guns in the pro race - even got to meet Chris Horner ("The Smiler") afterward!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

3.

7.26.09 Chicago Criterium
Cat. 3 / 34th

My first race after upgrading my license from category 4 to category 3. Others had told me, "Oh there's not really much difference, except that it's a lot safer in the 3's because everyone's had more experience" and other things of that nature. Well it may or may not be safer, but it's definitely faster. It was easily the fastest race I'd ever been a part of (averaging 27 mph) and was a bit of a shock to the system. I was able to hang on and play along, but never really factored meaningfully into the race. Disappointing finish but was really excited to be racing at a higher level. What doesn't kill me will make me stronger - right?

Chicago Personal Photographers got a nice picture.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Future Stars



7.19.09 Evanston Grand Prix Criterium
Cat. 4 / 3rd
($55)

Got into a 3-man breakaway in the latter half of the race which was slowly reeled in and caught by the final lap. Stayed at the front after the catch and sprinted for 3rd. Highlight of the day however was the kids' race, where my niece and nephews got their first taste of "competitive" cycling.

Big Hills, Small Field

7.18.09 Mississippi Bluffs Road Race (ABR State Championship)
Cat. 4 / 1st

Great course with some nice hills and I got to race with some of the Freeport Bicycle Company guys, which is always a good time. The only problem was there were only 3 other guys in my category, which made for a fairly uneventful event. Nevertheless, I raced well and won with a decisive sprint to the finish.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Unemployment Benefits


7.15.09 Ray Basso Bensenville Criterium
Cat. 4/5 / 2nd
($65)

Not having a job sucks...except when there's a bike race on Wednesday morning. Lost to Joel Friedman, who was making a brief appearance in the 4's as he blazes his way to the top of the cycling category system (his brother is a pro riding for Garmin-Slipstream). Got to hang out afterward and see my dad ride a stellar masters race as well - retirement has its perks too.

Road Rash


7.12.09 Elgin Cycling Classic Road Race
Cat. 4/5 / 39th


Beautiful course. Beautiful day. Raced exactly how I wanted to and was right where I wanted to be heading into the final turns... And then I crashed - hard. It was my own fault, too fast into the 2nd to last right-hand turn on uneven pavement...wheels just skidded out from under me. Thankfully neither my bike nor I were broken...just minor damage to both. We lived to race another day.